What's My Default?
Rather than react that leads to regret, let's create defaults to respond with respect.
In our Conflict Resolution training, I teach the idea having a default ready to use with the agitator in the family.
I learned this strategy because of interactions I had with the agitator in my family. When my oldest sister reached out to cause trouble, I immediately connected with my other siblings and shared what she said so as a group we could develop my response. With my default, I avoided the knee-jerk reaction to say exactly what I thought which would later lead to my regret (“I know better and shouldn’t let her get to me.”)
I love creating defaults so we have strategies to use when our stress could lead to actions and words we later wish we could take back.
Let’s remind ourselves we can create and use defaults this week by beginning our day with this question, “What’s my default?”
Your defaults could be words you use with a certain family member to disarm them, silence you use in certain work situations to ensure you remain professional, actions you use when you want to keep calm. Your default on Friday evenings may be to enjoy a cookie with a cold glass of milk.
What are your defaults?
(Image by Petra from Pixabay.)
Resources
Our Conflict Resolution training is a free-standing course as well as part of our Certified Caregiving Consultant and Certified Caregiving Systems Navigator courses. Learn more about our courses.